Fragile. This is an extremely gloomy capture having delicate beauty.
My dad was a very courageous man. He always had multiple accidents and recurring health issues but he was God’s loved one so He always kept him under His shelter. Maybe that made my pops so strong.
Since last one and a half year, he had rapid weight lost and physically became quite weak. That would unsettle him from inside. He was still hopeful that there would be some way out; he thought he might get better if we went somewhere outside the city. We never told him seriousness this time’s condition; we ourselves were not that sure. It did not sink in. However, I would always say to him that you will have to live with it because there isn’t much that can be done. He then would become demoralized or gloomy.
He would curl up and lower his head like a kid while resting. I wish I knew more about what was going deep down inside his heart. He would not show it to me and mostly remain silent. Occasionally he would even ask me to leave the room, so both of us don’t have to see other in pain. I suppose, the same was the last thing that he would have said to me in Special Care Unit – deep down these words carried an ocean of love.
He was in a kind of pain which I can only feel but not comprehend. He was feeling something which I could feel but cannot name. I would feel like giving him a big hug and telling him that everything would be okay. For some reason, I could not muster up courage to do so. However, I would try to compensate by giving him a kiss. Conversely, he preferred that I lay beside him and he would take me under his arms close to his chest – I have tasted heaven. Deep down I wished I could do something.
In the justice of nature, everything was okay. He was physically and emotionally tired but his soul was pure. He became sort of ethereal and adorably innocent. He walked with small steps as he was a kid again. He would sudden come and stand quietly beside you. He would always give smile and whenever he saw people he would tell them how happy and delighted he was by meeting them. Flowers and nature brought smile to his face. He was such a person always but now its intensity was at the peak.
He was a recently-diagnosed CLD patient; he had to be because he was Caring-Loving-Dad all his life. In his last days, he craved and received same care and love as if he was a son for the world.